Receiving each day as new can be tough. Whether it’s based on the fact that yesterday was a wonderful day, or maybe it was a day you’d like to forget, there’s something in us that naturally wants to keep a foot in the past. It’s that hoarding spirit of distrust, that if we just hold on – we’ll see it was worth it. We’ll prove it. But sometimes (most times), that just isn’t the case.
I’m learning in this season of growth that God has nothing greater for me in the past. What’s fresh, bright, & untouched – is in that which I’ve yet to discover. While I may remember things that are old, I must not hold on to them. There’s a huge difference here that it’s taken me quite some time to realize! He’s been teaching me that I have hidden emotions, days, & years so far deep inside of my spirit that I have to let go of in order to grow into the woman He’s created for today.
I unknowingly held on to events in my life, good and bad, that would in return hold me back from wholly stepping forward. What we hold inside for decades will solidify and become like an anchor that has settled into its final resting place. As the waves of life sweep past it, it may stir, but eventually it will lay still and be built upon. Before we know it, it has grown in size and weight.
I could feel the weight, but I couldn’t figure out what or where it was coming from. So, I asked God to reveal to me what exactly I was feeling and why. One night, as I leaned against a wall in my house and took a breath, just one of those moments where you soak in the day’s events – He showed me. He spoke a name from my childhood. I was taken aback! Wow, wow. And so my healing began.
I was a child and I was hurt. At the time, I would have never known. But as I grew older and my anchor fell deeper and deeper, heavier and heavier – without specifically reminiscing this exact occurrence in my life, I was still held back because of it. I never realized the profound effect that would be born from this.
And as years were taken from me in the sense that maybe I didn’t laugh as truly as I could have, maybe I didn’t see the world the same as people my age, maybe the entire course of my life had changed because of it… it only took me moments to let go and allow God to fill the deep, empty hole that had been unplugged.
I’m thankful that I worship a God who meets us right where we are. He picked up a broken ten-year-old girl and lifted her into a blossoming twenty-four-year-old woman. He didn’t skip a beat. He didn’t bring me half way, He brought me all of the way. From then until now. Today.
It’s up to me to accept this blessing, it’s up to me to be thankful for His timing. I could rant and I could rave. I could bring myself back to that place and seek revenge or answers. I could ask ‘why’ until my heart couldn’t take it any more.
“I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4
Today I sought the Lord and He heard me, and He delivered me from all of my fears. Tomorrow, I will seek Him once again, and He will deliver me. How wonderful!
I urge you to look inside. Not behind, up or down, or even forward.
Look inside of yourself: what is it God wants you to release?
It could be a person, it could be a day, a year, it could be a circumstance, it could be something that was so out of your control you wouldn’t naturally believe it was having an affect on you. It could be emotions, it could be an addiction, a belief, it could be great pain and it could even be great joy. It could be something you’ve picked up today.
As God’s children, He wants us to live life with the belief that we are capable. We are capable to change the atmosphere around us. He wants us to live with the overwhelming faith that no matter what happens, He CAN defy it. I say ‘can’ and not ‘will’, because ultimately the will is up to us. Will we or won’t we? If we don’t give repentance our heart and soul, He can only do so much with our inability to let go. If we truly, 100% do our part, He WILL defy.
All of these years, I didn’t wake up and know to remove the anchor from my life. I didn’t even know it was there. But the more that I woke up and gave my life for the day ahead of me, the more that I urged God to change me, the less might my anchor had against me. I started to wake up and move. I woke up and demand that movement stirred inside of me. My anchor started to drag across the foundation it had lived upon for years. I felt the unrest that this caused inside of me and as I began to acknowledge it, God began to work in me.
When we carry burdens in life, God doesn’t turn away from us. Oh, how does He reach to us to come home to Him. Each new day, God has something for us. Personalized to our every need.
Going back to my last blog post, I feel God has just spoken to me. In the lines of life… with each new day, there is a new line. The question was “are we eager enough” to wait in line and receive what He has to give us, even if it is small or large. I believe God is teaching me that I, too, have things in which I can bring to Him. And He’s always there waiting.
No matter the length of the line, will I freely give up my burden to Him? When I walk away, will I look back or will I trust that those days are over?
You may be saying “of course I would freely give my burden,” but as the world grows in ‘wearing our scars’ with pride, I believe many of us are defining our lives in a way that God would have never declared for us. Too much of a good thing can become a burden. Too little of anything can become a burden. Caring for someone or something too much can become a burden. Carrying your yesterday or tomorrow to your today is a burden.
“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:12
The catch with burdens is they don’t keep us from our ultimate destination. But, they do make the path longer, harder, and less enjoyable. They wear us down, they make us tired, and they keep the best of us tangled inside.
Letting go of burdens can make us feel vulnerable and weak. It can bring us to levels of “looking in the mirror” that are plain uncomfortable. But God says that His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
I’ve been given a chance to start each day with a lighter load. God has personally touched my life and removed hurt that was caused when I was a child. He is the most loving and caring Father that could ever exist. He wants nothing more than to see me wake up each day and have less to carry so that I may grow in Him and accomplish more for His Kingdom. He will do whatever it takes to bring His children home with Him.
He will give us every opportunity to be overwhelmed by His love, will we be there waiting the moment it arrives? Are we lifting our burdens one last time to hand them over?
Lift your heaviest, deepest, and oldest care to Him in this moment. As your hands fall down to your sides, may they be lighter than ever before. May be they be empty of the world and filled with His grace.
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30